Summer Brings Relaxation

I just returned from a family vacation in the Northwest. Because I'm a strong believer in family ties, I had my daughter fly in for a long weekend from a two week camp that she is participating in. I felt it was so important that she be with my family AND she had been looking forward to this camp for a year. So how could they both be happening at the same time?

The idea to fly in for the weekend was hers! She's darned lucky I'm a flexible Mom that's willing to listen to her. She got to have her camp and hang out with my family as well. It's so important to listen and have the willingness to tackle issues that arise, and especially so when children are dealing with the heartache of a divorced family. For me, dealing with the issues is what keeps me assured I'm living in integrity.

Coping with Child Custody Arrangement

The tears are flowing again. How do I cope with not seeing my child when she's with her Dad? It's so super hard. Although I know our custody arrangement is the best for us, sometimes I feel like I'm walking around in a shell, my armor is thick over my heart with grief. Any "arrangement" sucks. And as my shell softens the tears fall, slowly at first but like a river flowing to the ocean they pick up speed until they are tumbling forth and my body lets loose. My body and heart know that the way through is to cry these tears. But my mind and ego just want to be strong. Something tells me there is strength in the letting go and I've seen its truth. I'm able to make huge strides in my life when I accept the truth and the pain. But it doesn't make it easier.

What's so hard for me is not having the intact family that I dreamt of in my childhood. We grow up loving those summer moments of peace and calm in the backyard at dusk. I want that again. With family around me and a sense of belonging. Like all is right in the world.

What will my child remember of her childhood? What will she hold onto as important?

For now I focus on what I can create with her. Staying in the moment when I'm with her gives her the best of me. I'm looking forward to a 4^th of July BBQ and fireworks with my daughter and friends; new friends. Friends that understand the pain of separation and divorce. We take great comfort in one another.